Hello everyone i need advice cos my 5 month marriage is going down.
When i met hubby on an online marriage platform it was all love. We talk and chat well and i later got to know he does not base in Nigeria.
He was so caring and loving from a distance i fell hard in love. I told my mum about it. She asked if i knew him well and i told her i did. Then we told dad he warned me to be careful of online love but i dint hear.
He told all his brothers and they all cautioned me but i loved my guy. I explained to mum that i loved him and she said ok o and told my dad to accept him. So when he came down to naija he came to do introduction i was happy and i even stayed at his place for few days and i saw his mother was living in his house and all the siblings. I bought stuffs for them and we e all happy.
Later he went back and i do visit the mum.
Later he told me he will like me to join him cos i was doing business and i was seeing my cool money. I am a graduate he told me to go get my certificate so i will get a good job and i did. He told me to get a marriage cert that will be used to process my visa and i did and also a passport. And i sent the marriage cert to him.
And the process started he got me my visa and paid for flight which he sent pics to me. So he was like when Naija girls enter they do run away so he will like us to have a proper wedding first and i didn’t see anything wrong.
My Dad shouted its too fast and my mum was just thinking and i assured them everything was fine.
He was close to my mum. So we started the plans for a wedding.
That was when his mum fell really sick and with the whole visa process we decided not to collect much. Then like 3 weeks to wedding he told me he got a new job and he resigned which made my own visa which was under his to be invalid that after the wedding that i should give him 3 months to balance in the new company that i will join him and i agreed my parents were like hmmm.
But i believed him
After the wedding i moved with the mum and siblings the dad stays elsewhere.
He went back to base and i was left with the mum and we were living and i took care of her to my best ability but the thing i didn’t do was wash her cloths cos she had two daughters like me.
But i was the one sweeping and washing plates every morning and sometimes i cook. When she was finally strong and OK.
I told hubby i will go learn a skill while i wait and she resumed her shop.
I do help out when i can when i come to her shop she sells food, drinks and cigar though i was not comfortable there i still do it and i also wash dishes when i can.
But the problem started when mum started drawing territories and said a lot of hurtful things to me. And each time she is angry, my sis in laws wont talk to me too and they always report my every move to my hubby.
I felt soo suffocated i started to withdraw cos i dont understand the language. Till they said i isolte myself. Then hubby and i kept quarreling and he changed, told me he has a lot of bills cos he is the bread winner. So i offered to go back home and continue my business to help, his mum refused saying it’s not done. I said ok get me a house she refused that i want to take him away from her. Then i had to tell my mum cos she loved him too but he shouted her down. She was shocked and reminded him that she didn’t sell me. That statement got hubby family angry and they have refused to let me ven visit home and threatened if i go they will pack my things out.
My parents are angry and i am depressed. He does not want me to visit and he says i wont join him again. That he will be coming home once a year and no plans for me yet and i have to live with the mum forever.
Please how do i get myself put of this situation and i cant get a good job here. I only depend on him for food money. I am scared of my future in this marriage. They now control my life and i dont even have a say anymore. I get scared of him. My dad said he warned me and he said i am left to decide what i want. Hubby said to chill for few months but my parents said truth be told he has no plan for me and he controls my movement from there.